As someone who planned two weddings, less than a month apart, on the opposite side of the world and in completely different weather conditions, I feel like I’ve earned the right to do a  blog post about things I learnt about being a bride… So in the spirit of the other big wedding this week, here goes: 

1. It’s not just about you two. 
   I’m going out on a limb on this one. Everyone always says “It’s your day, just do what you want” but I just don’t think this is true. Unless you are having a wedding with just you two attending, there will be other people you need to be mindful of. I say this with the caveat that both our parents were a) happy we were getting married to each other and b) went with the flow on our choices. I know some people aren’t as lucky but it’s worth making an effort to resolve serious differences and letting go on a few choices. Looking back on the day itself, I probably spent more time that day with other people than I did my husband — I’ve got the rest of my life to spend with him thankfully — and those memories are just as important.
2. Even simple weddings require a lot of logistics.
   Don’t underestimate how much work is required, even if you are just doing a trip down the registry office and to a pub afterwards. Planning a wedding can be be like falling into a rabbit hole. Do ignore those who say otherwise. 
3. Decorations are nice but the things that are most memorable are the touches that make the day more enjoyable for your guests.
   I don’t think I was perfect in this respect but I did do my best. Try to think about the wedding from their point of view. What little niggles have you had at weddings you’ve previously attended and then seek to avoid them. If you have guests travelling from afar, make sure you provide information well in advance (6-12 months at least, if not earlier). We also had a BBQ at my parent’s house for my husband’s friends and family plus they all got welcome packs containing some wine, maps and tourist information. 
4. Friends and family will surprise you.
   Generally, it will be because they have been amazingly generous and thoughtful. We had deliveries of flowers from people who couldn’t make it plus our guests at the London reception clubbed together to purchase the dream item on our registry (a coffee machine which has seen much use in the Jahn-Wright household) and that was just the tip on the iceberg. Unfortunately there will also be some rather less pleasant surprises, try not to dwell on them too much. 
5. Do provide some hints about gifts.
   People aren’t lying when they say the best gift is being there on the day to celebrate with you but it does make everyone’s life easier if you provide information on what people should do for wedding gifts. Whether you have the ubiquitous John Lewis Gift List or would prefer donations towards a house deposit or honeymoon, or even a charity, it’s worth letting a close family member know to pass this information onto guests or to include it on your wedding website if you have one. It also doesn’t hurt to do a combination of these things either, as not everyone is comfortable with giving cash gifts. If you have guests travelling from afar, it’s worth letting them know you don’t expect gifts - their flight and hotel bills are surely enough! 
6. Do embrace a zone of calm on your wedding day.
   You are probably going to be stressed leading up to your wedding. There are probably going to be tears and times when you want to pull your hair out. When the big day rolls around, do try to relax and chill out. If you run into a problem, resolve it the best you can and then move on (See #7) 
7. Only you will notice things not being quite right on the day.
   There are going to be things that are not quite right or as expected. My Mum and I had a meeting with a vendor in Perth where I requested something to be done in a certain way. They seemed to have either ignored / lost / forgotten the request and needless to say Mum and I were not best pleased with the end result. The thing is, no one else knew or noticed but us. 
8. You will need a holiday after it’s all over.
   My schedule was particularly hectic due to the location and timings of our wedding(s). We only had four days in Singapore for a honeymoon and two days into that I came down with a dreadful cold that hung around for quite some time afterwards. Do try to give yourself at least a couple of days to properly relax and do nothing.  
9. Thank you cards with a photo are lovely!
   I treasure all the thank you cards I’ve received from weddings I’ve attended but the ones I love the most are those with a photo of the bride and groom on the front. It always brings back memories of how happy and in love they looked on their wedding day. Do remember to send thank you cards to those who weren’t able to make it but sent cards / gifts and those who attended but didn’t give a gift (See #5 about presence being the best present there is). 
10. Remember, it’s just one day!
    Or two days, in our case. None the less, you spend a lot of time and money planning something that goes by in a flash. You are a bride for a day, a wife for life (hopefully).

Apologies if you don’t want to hear about weddings any more or whether you just plain aren’t interested.